she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
