i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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