Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Randomize
