Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
