What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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