Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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