I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
