4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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