that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
