planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
