Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
