this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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