he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
