My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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