More tranny stories later!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
