I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
