Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
