Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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