I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
