That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
