great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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