he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
