I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
