One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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