Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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