question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize