We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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