the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
