No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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