how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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