i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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