Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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