I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
