these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
