Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
this hospital has no fireball
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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