I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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