Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
