the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
