dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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