drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
