FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
