i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
