I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
