So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
