from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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