I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
