I want to stick my p in your. b.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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