yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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