and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think a kid would responsible me up
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize