either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
