My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
