It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
