Your tits are I can't wait for
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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