O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
