I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
