toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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