so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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