The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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