I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
