i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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