FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
