well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
