that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
