your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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