I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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