apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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