are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
