I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
