Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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