she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize