She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
