in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
