So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
