But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
