we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
