why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
